Stuck on 15 miles


I didn’t run this week. I’ve barely done anything this week or done any sort of workout of any kind. I’ve been holed up in my apartment eating turkey burgers and watching PSYCH marathons. I’m barely employed right now, so I can’t blame it on my work schedule. I can’t blame it on the heat, because it hasn’t been that hot. I can’t blame it on not seeing any progress, because I’m the smallest I’ve been in three years. I just didn’t run.  I’ve been feeling low and unmotivated and small.  I’m broke, so I don’t have my healthy foods in the fridge and I think I’m starting to finally feel the creative void that comes with taking a break.

I decided to only do things that I feel passionately about this year, and while I have a couple of possible exciting projects in the air, nothing is solid yet. Doing only  “what makes your gut rumble and your heart want to explode,” per the lovely Kate Winslet, means that I will be doing less and I have to be okay with that. I need to be able to be a person that can function in life when I don’t have something artistic going on, without crawling into some hole.

People keep asking me details about my weight loss and any tips that I might have. In the last four months I’ve lost 26 pounds. I’ve lost this amount before and always returned to bad habits once I reached my “goal.” The reason I think it will work this time and the number one tip that I can share is that “tomorrow is another day.” That sounds simple, but it’s the best advice I can give. So many of us, especially us artistic types, are perfectionists who can’t deal with failure. Before, if I had a couple of  bad days or a bad week, I would quit because clearly I’d failed.

This time I’ve had setbacks, hundreds of them. I’ve even regained weight and had to lose it again, but every time  I have had a setback, I haven’t given up. I’m human. There are going to be days where I eat fried fish and caramel cake while I watch So you think you can dance at midnight. Not like I did that last night or anything. Totally speaking hypothetically here.

I think the difference between a DIET or WORKOUT FAD and a LIFESTYLE is that you know you’re not always going to be perfect when you’re doing it for life. A fad workout or diet is a called FAD for that very reason, they’re not sustainable. They can work, absolutely, but unless you’re crazy disciplined (or just plain crazy) you can’t stick to them and eventually you will gain the weight back.

So what is my point of all this? I guess my point is that I’ve had a rough week, but I’m done moping now, and tomorrow morning I’m going to put on my running shoes and get back on the wagon. I have a lot of miles to make up, and I refuse to give up. Thanks for reading my morning pages.




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